Sad because Target took undershirts or razor blades off sale?
I’ve been listening to “Whatever and Ever Amen” on a loop.
Watching every breakup movie I can think of. I would dive into comfort food,
but APPARENTLY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS.
Hey, people from Philly. This shit is gross. (via)
No, I’m not recently dumped. I’m attempting to move past the
sudden and crushing loss of Twinkies, Cup Cakes, and the little Devil’s Food
Donettes I like, even though I know they’re horrible for me. The closure of
Hostess Brands means a lot to a lot of people. The most obvious and real cost
is approximately 18,500 people losing their jobs due to the company closing
their doors. Obviously, any job loss of that scale is disheartening, at best.
Not nearly as disheartening, however, as the attempt to politicize the closure
of an American institution. (For those who may chuckle at throwing the word
“institution” around like so much confetti, did you SEE some of the supermarket
photos posted online on Friday or this morning?)
However, by and large, they’re supposed to sit and take it
because “you should be lucky to have a job”. But when does it end? These
workers had already taken one hit, and were being asked to take another. If
they agreed, what’s stopping Hostess from asking them to take further cuts down
the road? When is it acceptable to stand up for yourself?
(I also accidentally typed “by and lard” originally instead
of “by and large”. Freudian slip?)
Another valid question brought up by a long-time family
friend is “How does any (junk-food) company affiliated with the largest grocery
distributor in the country, in an increasingly obese society, go under?” I
don’t have an answer for this. I’ve been to Wal-Mart on pretty much any day of
the week, at any time of the month, at any time of the year, and I’m sure most
reading this have as well. The irony of obese people being malnourished is
another story for another time, but looking into most any cart you walk by
tells me it’s safe to say that we can’t hold Twinkies as the sole culprit of
our fattification. (Made them shits up. Feel free to steal.)
Bottom line: Even though I’ve held a serious grudge since I
found out they stopped making Chocodiles, the closure of Hostess sucks. Your
politics aren’t helping.
Guess how many spots this guy occupies on the list?
This hasn’t been my greatest couple of weeks.
I lost my paternal grandfather this past week. My Papa was
my hero, my role model, and someone I could only hope any possible future children of mine would emulate. Despite
being able to enjoy having my family around (including seeing family members
that I haven’t been able to see or stay in touch with for years, for various reasons),
this has been a heartbreaking time for my family and I, to say the least. I
started this blog in order to be able to talk and write about things that make
me happy, and weirdly/proudly, professional wrestling makes me very happy. My goal with this specific entry, in honor of my grandfather and his strong Christian beliefs, is to not swear as a sign of respect. If you've read any of my previous entries, this may not be nearly as easy as it sounds.
Before I proceed (and I fully acknowledge and warn you, any
of the 14 people that may have stumbled here looking for somehow more profane
pages with the word “crap” in the title, that this entry is not for everyone),
I’d like to go ahead and quickly rebut some of the most common arguments
against professional wrestling:
A) “It’s fake!” – OK. The match outcomes are
predetermined, but as far as calling anything these men and women do in the ring
“fake” is an insulting, ridiculous disservice to anyone who's put their ability to walk without a limp for the rest of their life on the line to entertain us.
B) “I can do that!”- I’m willing to bet a large sum of money* that you can’t do 1/3 of the
things these people do one time. Wrestlers working for major companies do these
things for anywhere from 120-200 days a year. (*-should I somehow lose this
bet, expect to get a ridiculously postdated check.)
C) “GAAAAAAAAAAY!” – While this is mostly from the
MMA crowd, I guess I have to agree somewhat. Speedos and baby oil do no one any
favors. But certainly there is nothing “gay” about 2 dudes in a cage wearing
nothing but short shorts and gloves rolling around on the ground for 15-25
minutes. I will also use this bulletpoint to include the surreal Hilary Duff anti-gay PSA, because I deem it both tangentially related to this point, as
well as the masochist in me enjoying Lizzie McGuire's Smoker's Voice telling me to
“knock it off”.
D) “Too many people die at a young age!” – Yeah, I
got nothing for this, and it’s the only thing about professional wrestling that
really makes me sad, so let’s move on.
E) Last, but certainly not least, my absolute personal favorite, “All they do is stand
around and talk!” As soon as I hear this, I stop listening, because the person
saying it just completely exposed themselves as knowing nothing about
professional wrestling.
The professional wrestling business, in its current
incarnation, thrives on the “promo”, or promotional interview. It helps build
storylines without the wrestlers having to get in the ring and risk injury. It
allows the people behind the characters to expose themselves enough to make the
character their own. They also can run the gamut from funny to emotional to
asinine and possibly (probably?) drug-induced. But we’ll get to him later. But
the main point here is that promos are my favorite part of wrestling, and what
better way to cheer myself up then to go over my favorite wrestling promos of
all time.
For those who are still with me (as I again acknowledge this post will not be interesting to everyone), please keep in mind that
the title isn’t “Greatest Wrestling Promos”. It’s “Favorite Wrestling
Promos”. Most listed do have historical significance in one way or another, but
please don’t get chapped because I didn’t include something you thought should
have been there. This is entirely subjective, and if anyone reading this (which
might be down to 6 or 7 now, once readers saw anything related to ‘rasslin’)
has anything they’d like to include on their own, or if you’d just like to call
me names, there’s a comment section below. I swear. I'm not the only one who's allowed to use it.
As always, all videos used in this blog, with the exception of the last video, are from YouTube, although I will do my best to credit the individual accounts the videos were pulled from, and all images gathered from Google Images.
So let’s get on with it:
#7 - Terry Funk Retires, Loses 99.9% Of His Vocabulary - 1983
Pretty sure they named the old Nintendo game "Bad Dudes" after Terry and Dory Funk, Jr.
“Middle Aged and Crazy”, “The Living Legend”, “Terrible
Terry”, “The Hardcore Icon”. The most famous resident of The Double Cross Ranch in Amarillo, TX.
The Funker.
Most people in my age bracket remember Terry Funk as either
the soft spoken, fire-chair swinging former ECW champion and worldwide name in
wrestling who retired an estimated 297 times, or the guy Sylvester Stallone
hired to be in several of his movies. (MR. CUTLER IS TALKING TO YOU.) But for those who missed out on earlier times, Terry Funk,
as well as his brother Dory Funk, Jr., was an absolute rock star in Japan. On
August 31, 1983, after the teaming Funk brothers wrestled a match in Japan, he
announced his first retirement. Also, he apparently forgot all the words his
brain knows but one:
The fun part starts at about 3:30 in the video. (via)
So how long does he and his wife think Japan will be number 1 again? I couldn't quite make it out...
#6 – No Computer Will Take His Job, Daddy -1985
Fat or not, Dusty Rhodes > You
Dusty Rhodes has never really looked like he should have
done anything with his life other than be a professional wrestler. An obese man
with a pronounced lisp and more rhythm than most white men are allowed by law, he wrestled like someone who at least had the “obese”
part covered. His finishing move was an elbow, for God’s sakes. I’m guessing he
learned that from Georg Hackenschmidt or Frank Gotch, because something as
simple as a standing elbow stopped being a realistic finisher sometime around
the 1910s.
However, one thing Big Dust could always (and still) do is cut a
promo. Rhodes was coming back from an injury, and was set up to wrestle Ric
Flair at Starrcade ’85, which was the NWA’s equivalent of WrestleMania, meaning their biggest and most important show of the year. Rather
than just stay at home, stage interviewer Bob Caudle stuck a mike in his face for a stage
interview. Then this happened:
Shouldn't talk about people starving when you're pushing 3 bills, Big Dust. (via)
I can’t think of any Dusty Rhodes/Ric Flair match that
wasn’t very good to excellent, despite Dusty's dearth of technical skills, but the passion in this interview still gives me
chills.
#5 – Paul E. Dangerously has HAD IT WITH YOU! – 1992
Just SO. MUCH. AWESOME.
This being a totally subjective list, this was very close to
being in the top 2 of my favorite promos of all time. Before he really became an integral part of wrestling history,
Paul E. Dangerously was a Zack Morris-phone carrying manager in WCW, leading a stable
called The Dangerous Alliance. Anyone who has seen Heyman in his post-WCW days
(WWE announcer/manager, and I think he created a wrestling company…) knows the
guy can talk a blue streak, and could sell ice to an Inuit. He could also horribly denigrate women like Madusa Miceli:
I used to rewind 2:09 to 2:19 about 5 times per viewing. Still do. (via)
As a spelling bee nerd, I enjoyed the number of words Paul E. felt compelled to spell for Madusa. I also like the fact that they bleeped the
word “hooker” out on the telecast. It was 1992, after all, but it’s really
weird to hear now. What's not so weird to hear, though, is Paul E. DOMINATING someone on the microphone.
In 1995, Cactus Jack wasn’t with one of the 2 (at the time)
major companies, but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t still changing the
professional wrestling business. Before he was thrown off a cage, or put a sock
on his hand, or started the hometown/thumbs up combo, Mick Foley was a brawler
that did not get or choose to speak much for the majority of his career. In ECW, however, Foley was given the chance to speak his own
mind, as opposed to having to speak through a character. What followed was one of the most famous promos in ECW history:
The emotion (more than a little real: Who wouldn’t be upset
by seeing a sign in the crowd suggesting inflicting physical pain onto your toddler?) in this promo
is, to this day, nearly unmatched. Many people think this interview “made” Cactus
Jack. I liked him before this, but it’s really hard to argue with that
sentiment.
#3 – Archie Gouldie Keeps It Racist – 1983
"My dad can beat up your dad."
Liberal use of the word “boy” aside, I LOVE THIS PROMO.
Archie “The Stomper” Gouldie was one of the top heels in Canada’s Stampede
Wrestling, run by Stu Hart and former breeding ground of many of professional
wrestling’s best technicians. During a 6-man tag team match, Gouldie teamed
with his “son” (not really his kid) and fellow bad guy Bad News Allen (better
known to some as Bad News Brown), but during the match, Allen turned on the
Gouldies, piledriving the “son” onto the concrete floor and leaving most
everyone else, Archie Gouldie included, bleeding profusely. Wikipedia calls
this “the most infamous angle in Stampede history”, and I have to agree, if
only because it was so brutal, it caused Stampede Wrestling’s TV announcer to
quit the company on the spot.
What followed was one of the most intense, heartfelt promos
I have seen, even to this day:
In addition to the “boy” usage, you may have also noticed
the sentence “I’ll rub your black hide up and down that gravel road” was
partially censored. But the racism in the promo doesn’t detract from the
passion, at least to me. Should he have used different wording? Absolutely.
Aside from that, could he have done that promo any better? Highly doubtful.
#2 – The Summer of Punk II –2011
Maybe this is the "indy darling" picture in my pro wrestling glossary.
If you can find a professional wrestling glossary of terms,
and look up the term “indy darling”, you’ll most likely see a picture of CM
Punk (Not my glossary, though. Mine has a picture of Bryan Danielson). Punk
honed his craft in independent wrestling organizations like Ring of Honor for
years before he was signed to the WWE. Even after making the “big time”, he
spent a large portion of his time floundering. For every great match he had
with a Jeff Hardy (or most anyone), there were 2 programs where he wasn’t even
on TV. For every Straight Edge Society, there was a New Nexus. By June 2011, Punk’s contract was ending, and by all indications, he was very frustrated with his current direction in the company and wanted to take some time away and reassess his options. On June 27, Monday
Night Raw that evening ended like this:
You couldn't have said hi to Ace Steel, ya jerk? (via)
After this promo, the internet and professional wrestling
world in general was abuzz with speculation. “Was that really supposed to
happen?” “Is this a work?” “Let’s bring this pro wrestler guy onto my radio
show because I think what just happened was real.” (I might be talking about someone specifically here.) It led to a lot of very good things, both for Punk
and for wrestling fans that don’t want to watch bodybuilders that don’t have a
clue or care what’s going on. (Might be talking about someone specifically here too.)
You may notice that the title of the #2 entry was called “The
Summer of Punk II”, which would indicate there is an original Summer of Punk. I
would have loved to include the promo that started that, along with a couple of
other things from the company, but since Ring of Honor is fanatical to the point of alienation about
making sure none of their product that exists before 2009-2010 ends up online (because the Dewey Guida School of Business teaches us nothing good can come from exposing
your product to a larger audience. Right, Lavy?), I have no ROH stuff. Thanks,
guys!
Before I get to the #1 spot, there are 3 guys that I
desperately wanted to include on this list, but they’ve done so many great
promos that it was very difficult to pick only one. So the Magnificent Seven
Lifetime Achievement Award winners are:
"Never trust a snake...or a hardcore crack addict." (via)
“Rowdy” Roddy Piper
From a promo to a murder accusation. That's breaking the 4th wall. (via)
And my leader to this point (because this could change at
any week, ridiculous as that might sound if you watch most of the current major
product offered):
#1 – Steve Austin –“That’s For Somebody Else”—1995
You'd look heated too if you had to job to "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan in 30 seconds.
Way before he became one of the most popular and
recognizable wrestlers on the planet, “Stone Cold” Steve Austin was a guy who,
due to horrible misuse in WCW and an arm injury suffered while wrestling in Japan, found himself out of
a job. Lots of guys get let go in wrestling (especially in WCW during the ‘90s,
as they had over 225 wrestlers under contract, if only to sign most of them only to keep them from
jumping ship to the WWF), but not a lot of guys get fired via a FedEx letter
while convalescing and healing up from an injury caused while working for that
same company (WCW and New Japan Pro Wrestling had a working agreement allowing wrestlers to work for both organizations). While waiting to heal up, Paul Heyman (remember that guy?) gave
Austin the opportunity to simply speak his mind. What followed was not only a
side of Steve Austin that hadn’t been seen before in American wrestling, but a
precursor to a character that changed wrestling forever:
(via my own DVD collection)
See any resemblance? It’s almost like a stand-up comedian workshopping
new jokes, with the main exception being Austin really didn’t need a whole lot of time.
6 months in ECW (where, due to still healing up from the arm injury, he only
actually wrestled 2 matches in his entire time with the company and lost them both), signed with
the WWF, and the rest is history.
Hey, this was fun. On a personal note, I would like to
sincerely thank anyone and everyone who took the time to send positive words,
wishes, and thoughts during a very difficult time. Some I’ve been able to thank
personally, but if I haven’t been able to, please accept my gratitude.
And hey, no swears! I'm growing.
Thank you very much for reading, and enjoy your day.
Really didn’t feel much like writing during the week. The
reasons for it are, for now, not something I feel comfortable getting into, and
I hope I don’t have to. But suffice it to say, this has not been my most
creative week. In fact, if it were not for something happening in sports LAST
week, I might not have anything to write about, and would again have to resort
to esoteric references. (For the love of all that is holy, would you people
watch “Arrested Development?” It’s on Netflix Instant, and if you don’t have
Netflix, the DVDs aren’t expensive. You will be a smarter and funnier person
for it, and I get absolutely no money if you buy the DVDs through that link.)
Anyway, the story goes: after last week’s game between
Wyoming and Air Force, Wyoming head coach Dave Christiansen was not happy with
his team’s 28-27 loss. He may have been unhappy because his team was up by 10
at halftime and still lost. He may have been unhappy because he’s stuck in Wyoming.
(That might not be fair, as I’ve never been to Wyoming, but as someone who has
heard every West Virginia joke in the book, most coming from people who’ve never
been south of Morgantown, if they’ve been to the state at all, I don’t really
care.) But he was most likely unhappy with his belief that an Air Force player faked
an injury in order to buy Air Force some more time.Whatever he was unhappy with…well, he was really unhappy:
My personal favorite was “No fuckin’ integrity! WHOOOOO!”
mainly because A) people in organized football take dives ALL THE TIME (see
last week’s Steelers/Bengals game), and B) things like “integrity” and “class”
are bullshit platitudes/qualities in sports that only naïve assholes still argue
about. There is no “integrity” in most organized sports. To quote a guy who
surprisingly didn’t make this list, “You play to win the game! Hello???” Face
it, Dave. You got outsmarted, so you developed a case of severe butthurt that,
thankfully, gave me an idea. I wanted to go over what I consider to be the
greatest coach/manager meltdowns. The only criteria I put into place for this
one is that I had to be alive for it (You’re lucky, Woody Hayes!). Fortunately,
I’m old enough to already be a possible junior pitchman for Just For Men, so we
have plenty to work with. Some of the information gathered here is from Wikipedia, your source for all truths on the Internet. All video clips are from YouTube, and all images are from Google Images.
#7 – Jim Schoenfeld *Heart*s Don Koharski -1988
This is a CD you actually released. The "tough-guy" act fools no one.
Being a hockey guy who is going through withdrawal (and no,
I will NOT watch the KHL, you can eat dogdoo for suggesting it, thanks), I
wanted to include a hockey meltdown if only because I thought the sight of the
blue lines and hearing Canadian accents might soothe my battered soul. I’m kind
of angry at myself for this not jumping into my head as soon as I decided this
is what I wanted to write about, because this bad boy is priceless. The
background: Schoenfeld was coaching the New Jersey Devils, who had just lost
Game 3 of the Wales Conference (*sigh*) 6-1 to the Boston Bruins. After the game,
Schoenfeld confronted referee Koharski, and during the argument, Koharski fell.
Koharski accused Schoenfeld of pushing him, as did other fans witnessing the
confrontation. What Schoenfeld had to say after the fact, though, is why he’s
here:
“It’s because ya fell, ya fat pig! Have another doughnut!
Have another doughnut!” Also, as you can see, Schoenfeld didn’t actively push
anyone. The aftermath of this may have been even better, as Schoenfeld was
suspended for Game 4. The suspension was overturned by an injunction filed in a
New Jersey court about an hour before Game 4’s start time, which led to the referees
leaving the ice and refusing to work Game 4. Replacement officials were used
for Game 4, Schoenfeld was suspended for Game 5, and the referees came back to
work.
#6 – Jim Mora – “Playoffs?!?!”- 2001
This picture made me laugh, so I included it.
Not a whole lot to say about this that isn’t already known.
Jim Mora was coaching the Indianapolis Colts in 2001, and in November, they had
fallen to 4-6 after an ugly loss to San Francisco. Mora already had a
reputation for not holding much back (refer to the “diddly-poo” rant in 1996
when he was with New Orleans), and someone at the press conference had the
temerity to ask Mora if this could still be a playoff team. The rest is
history:
Yeah, he got fired at the end of the season. He never had a
major head coaching job again.
#5 –Dennis Green Is Not Quite Who You Think He Is – 2006
I thought you people were supposed to be jolly.
Dennis Green was a branch of the Bill Walsh coaching tree
that had some success in the NFL, spending 10 mostly successful years as the head
coach of the Minnesota Vikings before being hired by the Arizona Cardinals in
2004 (he spent 2 years in between working as an analyst for ESPN). Any success
he may have had in Minnesota didn’t transfer to Arizona, however, and by 2006,
Green’s job was in jeopardy. Losing a 20-point lead to the Chicago Bears
certainly didn’t help matters, and neither did this post-game presser:
For someone who was widely considered to be a soft-spoken
coach, this was largely out of character. Obviously, it was also hilarious.
Like #6, Green was fired at the end of the season, and has not held an NFL job
since.
#4 –Hal McRae Trashes His Office -1993
If you'd have kept those 'chops, you would never be angry.
Hal McRae was a better-than-average baseball player in the ‘70s
and ‘80s (3-time All-Star with the Kansas City Royals) who was able to parlay
his baseball knowledge into a managerial gig with his former team.
Unfortunately, he was not a better-than-average manager, and by April 1993,
McRae, despite having a team that would finish with his best managerial record
to that point, was frustrated. With what, exactly, is unclear. Is he frustrated
with the reporters? The team? Himself? Judge for yourself:
Yeah, guess it was the reporters. McRae finished his tenure in Kansas City on an upswing, as
the team’s record improved each full season he was there. However, after the
strike-shortened 1994 season, McRae left the Royals and would not get another
managerial job until 2001 with Tampa Bay, where he lost 169 games in 2 seasons.
#3 – Mike Gundy Wants You To Know How Old He Is – 2007
This is the greatest proof-of-life photo ever.
It was very difficult for me to not rank this #1. Some
backstory: In September 2007, a story was written for The Oklahoman regarding possible reasons Oklahoma State’s
quarterback at the time was benched. Oklahoma State head coach Mike Gundy did
not care for the tone of the article, and made that pretty clear. I love
college football, and love people who are passionate about college football.
Mike Gundy is definitely the latter:
The writeup is shorter for this one for a couple of reasons.
First off, Gundy has been increasingly successful in each season since this
happened, so there’s not much of the man’s professional career to mock. Second,
the video really says it all.
#2 – Lee Elia’s Ode To Cubs Fans – 1983
Surprised he didn't autograph it, "Get a job, asshole. Signed, Lee Elia"
In 1983, the Chicago Cubs looked bleak. Aside from Lee
Arthur Smith (which is how he will always be referred to here at Eclectic Mess
Of Crap) and a 40-year-old Fergie Jenkins, the pitching staff doesn’t scream “world-beater”.
The infield had a young Ryne Sandberg, Billy Buckner (whose knees were Swiss
cheese even then), and very old versions of Larry Bowa and Ron Cey. Leon Durham
was a starting outfielder, and a 23-year-old Joe Carter wasn’t, which is really
all that needs to be said there. I bunch all of this depression together not to
ruin my brother’s day (hi @SpecialKRush), but to lead to the inevitable
conclusion that Cubs fans were well within their rights to boo this team to the
Stone Age. Their manager at the time, Lee Elia, disagreed:
Do I have to be the person to tell you that Elia didn’t even
make it through the 1983 season?
#1 – John Chaney Kinda Commits A Felony - 1994
He might look like Yertle the Turtle, but he will kill you.
Hoo boy. OK, where to start here…during the 1993-94 college
basketball season, the Atlantic 10 actually mattered. They mattered a great
deal due to having the University of Massachusetts (coached by John Calipari)
and Temple University (coached by John Chaney) as part of the conference roll
call, as both teams would finish with over 20 wins and make the NCAA
Tournament. In February 1994, after a hard-fought game (won by UMass), Chaney
crashed Calipari’s postgame press conference to accuse Calipari of “working”
the referees in order to get calls. As he alludes to in the video, Chaney had just been warned about similar behavior
after a game earlier in the season against West Virginia (let's goooooooo Mountaineers!), so he was
understandably unhappy about having it used against him after the fact. How he
handled it, however…:
Sure, telling someone “I’ll kill you!” in a crowded room of
people carrying tape recorders and cameras might not have been the best way to
handle things on an adult level. On a memorable level, however, it’s #1 with a
bullet.
Still not a lot to write about today. I do have an idea for my weekend list column, though, so it hasn't been a complete wash. Just don't currently feel like writing much.
I'll leave a video to give an idea of what this weekend's blog might be about.
Fortunately, no teriyaki chicken burst during the writing of this post.
I knew 4 posts in a weekend would come back to bite me in the ass. Been awake for 6 hours and can't think of anything to write today. Since what little I have written up to this point has been related to "Arrested Development", I thought I'd also leave this handy instructional post I found on the internet, in case anyone had difficulty imitating a chicken.
I'm gonna get slapped in the face, and it's all your fault.
What a bummer this shit is.
9 days ago, West Virginia’s football season looked so much
different. 9 days ago, WVU had a Heisman Trophy frontrunner at quarterback, and
the nation as a whole was beginning to take notice. 9 days ago, WVU had 2
receivers that could have been in contention for the Biletnikoff Award. 9 days
ago, WVU was undefeated, had just knocked off the by-God Texas Longhorns, and
was being looked at as a dark-horse national title candidate.
9 days ago, WVU also still had an embarrassingly bad
defense. Young, yes, but still bad. Still had a bunch of kids that, while they
might be nice kids and get good grades and all that, had no business being on
the field as part of a starting defensive unit for a major conference FBS team.
Still also hadn’t really been tested by a quality defense, despite what Texas
might be calling themselves these days. It seemed as long as the offense
clicked as it did, though, none of these worries mattered. No one was talking
about them, at least.
And here we are. 9 days later. 2 embarrassing losses have
fortunately been able to rid us as Mountaineer fans of those delusions of a
national (or even Big XII) championship, a Heisman Trophy, or a meaningful
season. The best part is we as fans don’t even have the Gator Bowl to fall back
on anymore. It’ll most likely be another bowl game the week between Christmas
and New Year’s Day, and unless there is a sea change in the defense’s ability
to make key stops, another embarrassing loss on TV that will damage recruiting
no matter what kind of smiley face you put on it.
A strong D has been a WVU trademark for longer than a strong
offense has been, yet after losing guys like Bruce Irvin, Najee Goode, and
Keith Tandy, the cupboard seems to be bare. I could see maybe 4 of the guys
currently starting for WVU (Karl Joseph, Terrence Garvin, Isaiah Bruce and
possibly Darwin Cook) getting regular play on a major conference FBS team. I
would say “You can’t run 4 guys out there”, but that’s what WVU’s pretty much
been doing.
I made an allusion earlier to embarrassing losses taking
some of the steam out of WVU’s recruiting, and I do believe that. If you’re a
defensive player, though, one would think you would be champing at the bit (and it is CHAMPING at the bit. I looked) to
come to Morgantown. Mainly because after watching Seth Doege and Collin Klein
carve up the current excuse for a defense over the last 2 weeks, it seems to be
a given that even a decent player can go in there and compete to play right
away. I’m also not a believer in the train of thought that says “WVU can’t
recruit in Texas and Oklahoma”.
"I'll recruit your mother AND your older sister to the Comfort Inn. Room 69."
Dana Holgorsen spent most of the 2000s recruiting in Texas
and Oklahoma for Texas Tech, Houston and Oklahoma State. Aside from his
offensive pedigree, a main reason he was brought in was to build a recruiting
pipeline into Texas. He’s already signed guys like Tyler Tezeno to come in next
year and provide line help (I know recruiting rankings tend to mean squat, at least until it's time for Pitt basketball fans to talk up Steven Adams, but still...). In addition, WVU seems to still have a huge
pipeline into Florida, as most of the 2013 incoming class comes in from the
Sunshine State. I think they know how to play football in Florida…
So there are some reasons to have hope for the future, I
guess. Although the transition the defense is going through now will migrate to
the other side of the ball next year, WVU seems to more often than not be able
to bring in big-time players at the skill positions. The offense is proven to
work, and the defense only has time to improve.
